Is it Better to Have Loved and Lost Than to Have Never Loved at All?

by Charlotte Levine-Gruber

photo by William Creswell

I've titled this post with a quote (modified) from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, In Memorium. For me, it's apropos. Last month, I lost my first love. Someone who was the most important person in my life for decades. My heart still aches. While I've gone back to work and tried to put some semblance of "normal" back into my schedule--the loss still feels fresh and painful.

Tennyson lost a beloved friend to a sudden and unexpected death. While I didn't lose a friend, my loss was unexpected. I was completely unprepared--as if you could prepare.

I pose this question:

Would you avoid the pain of loss, if it meant you never had a chance to love __________________(fill in a name).

Our blog is all about writing. So let's substitute your person above with a "life dream."

Like any great love, writing has many ups and downs. Sometimes great joy, and sometimes heartache. Let's be honest--writers have a lot of heartaches. 

The words may not flow. Writing anything to hit your daily goal only makes what I call "forced words." These awkward words are readily apparent to anyone reading. You may as well just write THESE WORDS WERE FORCED.

Even then, writing is like no other job. As Marissa just posted last week--only other writers truly understand a "writers high." You can decide what to write, who to write, where they live, do you build a new world, or do they live in your neighborhood? You can even decide who to kill and who kills.

If you think about your favorite author and how much you love a book, answer these questions: Do you talk about characters with friends and neighbors?  Get mad when characters do stupid things? How about when your favorite series ends? Do you re-read favorites?

The first time someone read my manuscript and talked about my characters floored me--they knew...MY PEOPLE?

Jonathan Mayberry once said of his writing gig; "I get to live in my imaginary world, with my imaginary friends."

But to get to Jonathan Mayberry's level, you're guaranteed a lot of heartache and rejection. 

In my PitchWars group, most writers have queried more than one hundred agents before being offered representation. One hundred rejections. And that's all before submitting to publishers.

So, back to my question:

Would you rather have loved and lost, or never loved at all?

My dear, sweet, prickly, sometimes irritable, and always stubborn mother had a heart attack last month. I've never gone through anything that hurts this much. 

Would I trade to eliminate the pain? 

Not a chance. 

The gift of loving such a wonderful woman makes up for every bit of pain. And I had the ultimate privilege of calling my favorite person "Mom."

At the funeral, even through my thick fog of grief, I realized how many lives my mother touched. 

So, writers, if you love what you do, keep working, keep trying, and don't give up. Remember, it takes a writer to become an author.

High on Writing

 

There are some moments in a writer’s life that make the blood, sweat, and tears all worthwhile. Those magical, blissful moments that make us believe we can actually do this. The ones where we sit back and think, ‘Oh, yeah. I’m awesome!’

Think of that great scene you just finished writing. Fresh off from a brush with brilliance, you’re feeling pretty good about your skills. Sure, there are passive words or adjectives and adverbs that still need slashing, heck, you may even have to kill that darling in the greater scheme of things. But right now, at this fateful moment, everything is all right in the world.

Remember when you wrote that shockingly good chapter? You were so stoked when you finally discovered that twist—that jaw-dropping moment that raised the stakes and blew your own expectations out of the water. Remember that? Oh, yeah. You are awesome!

A writer’s high could be hidden anywhere: a musical turn of phrase, a poetic verse of description that sets your heart singing with accomplishment and confidence. It doesn’t have to be a big thing to make one appreciate the gift of being a writer, but there are those golden, grand moments that put the cherry on top of the gooey icing.

Think about the moment when you completed your first draft. Didn’t that feel good! You know you have to edit it later, but you don’t care. You just finished spewing out tens of thousands of words. And they make sense! More than that, they make a story—a world you created and then populated with fascinating, original characters. There is a start, a middle, and an end. You pulled this out of the ethos and nailed it down. It’s yours, and you finished it. How sweet is that? That is a yummy, warm, delicious, hot cocoa kind of moment.

Then there was that time you completed your edits! Now, if you’re a pantser like me, this can be a long, drawn out, painful process, but depending on how many drafts you go through, there still comes a time when you are actually finished with editing. When you look at what you’ve created and think, ‘I’m done. This is ready!’ Not ‘ready’ as in ready to send to publishers or agents, mind (unless you have one already and he/she is chomping at the bit to see your latest masterpiece) but ready to send to beta and critique readers. You’ve done the best you can, and now it’s time for others to have a fresh look at it. It’s out of your hands. Nothing to do but wait and get ready to bask in their glory!

This is where I’m at. Right now. I’ve just finished going through the final draft before I send it off. I still have to enter my changes into the computer, but I’m so close, I can taste it. And it’s like a cinnamon roll crepe with apple pie filling and caramel and butterscotch drizzle draped over rich vanilla ice cream and topped with whipped cream and a waffle cookie. OMG that sounds awesome! Someone needs to invent that. Seriously. Then send me a sample!

Kinda like this... but even better!

This is why I write. I’m addicted to this incredible high and when it happens, it feels fantastic. In my mind, in that glorious space and time, I’m confident the story is solid—all the plot holes filled and patched, the character motivations solved and solidified. It’s only a brief moment. All too soon, the self-doubt will niggle back, and I’ll start questioning my skills, undermining my confidence, and knocking down my pedestal. I’ll start sweating and pacing when I haven’t heard back from my beta readers. My agent’s silence will become deafening. But right now, all that is in my distant future. At this moment, all I can think is, ‘Oh yeah. This is awesome!’

What’s your favourite writing high?

In gratitude,

Marissa xo

Good to be BAD: Why We Love the Villain

Every story needs a troublemaker. Have you ever wondered why the most enduring stories have the worst villains? Ever put down a book because you just didn’t care about the story? Maybe the stakes weren’t high enough. Maybe the bad guy just wasn’t…bad enough.

Several years ago someone gave me this advice: to write a strong plot, start with the antagonist. It sounds backwards, right? But from a storytelling perspective, it makes perfect sense to start with the villain. Here’s why:

The villain is often a twisted version of the hero. Strong villains have a motive that opposes your main character’s goals. If your hero wants to eat ice cream, your villain is blowing up ice cream delivery trucks because of some deep-seated sundae phobia. Both hero and villain have similar interests, but on opposite sides of the issue. They are two sides of the same coin.

The best villains have a tragic backstory. When we learn about these defining events in the villain’s past, we begin to understand why they act that way. Maybe the poor guy hates ice cream sundaes because his psychopathic mother forced him to eat giant sundaes every day until he got sick, while he was locked in the basement staring at decomposing rats. We sympathize. It’s a complicated and yet compelling feeling, to care about the villains even as they do horrific things.

Villains reflect the evil we see in ourselves and others. Let’s face it, there’s a villain in every one of us. Fictional villains just take it to a whole new level of badness, often with cool stage makeup and special effects. Fictional villains offer a safe way to voluntarily process the deep, philosophical horrors that play out in our own communities. Like that dark and terrible day when Blue Bell recalled all the ice cream because of the dread villain Listeria. There is evil in the world, Aurora.

Villains provide creative freedom. As writers, we spend hours developing the character qualities of our protagonists. For those of us who write series fiction, we need to stay within the confines of our main characters because they are the anchors that hold the whole thing together. But introduce a new villain to the mix, or give your existing villain a new toy, and all bets are off. Ice cream trucks explode. Banana splits ooze with poison syrup. Anything can happen.

And finally, the main reason we love a good villain:

Villains are unapologetically selfish. Hell-bent on getting their own way, villains are determined, driven, and will stop at nothing. Killing? No biggie. Blowing things up? Sure. Allowing gallons and gallons of delicious Blue Bell ice cream to go to waste? Whatever it takes. We might not agree with their methods, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we admire a villain’s commitment. Go hard or go home.

Next time you sit down to write, turn the monster loose. Make your villain more evil and powerful, so your hero can get stronger. Up the stakes. Give us drama, make us cringe, incite tears. Back your hero into a corner, give the villain the upper hand, and then see what happens. Can your hero overcome the strongest of villains? 

Now that’s a good story.

How to Query a Novel

Today I'm going to give you a lesson on how to query a novel. I'm kind of in a unique position to do this because I'm both an author (under a pen name) and an agent (under my real name).

Merissa McCain and I have just finished a romance novel and we're in the process of beginning to query it. It's just as exciting and nerve-wracking for me, even though I'm an agent, because I really want someone to love my work, just like every other author does. And of course sell it to a publisher for a truck load of money and whatnot.

But what do you need to do in order to query?


STEP ONE: Write the damn book.

See the irony there? Be sure your book isn't ironic like that...

 This seems obvious, but trust me, as an agent I get queries for incomplete manuscripts. Polish the book. Then send it to beta readers other than your mom, who can give you intelligent, constructive story and copy-editing feedback. Polish it some more. Make sure it's at its shiny perfect best before you even think about querying.


STEP TWO: Next, write a synopsis.
 

This sucks. Everyone hates it. It's hard and you'll tear your hair out and cuss like a sailor, but you need to have one. Make sure it's not more than two pages double spaced and covers the complete story arc, including the ending.


STEP THREE: Write a query letter.

The necessary elements to include in a query letter are:

           - title
           - genre
           - word count
           - a back-of-the-book style blurb that will hook the agent or editor. There are lots of places online
              to get advice on how to write a good query blurb. Go to the book store (or Amazon) and read
              the backs of a bunch of books in your genre. You'll get a feel for it. Then practice writing the blurb
              for yours. Write it a whole bunch of times in a whole bunch of different ways.
           - a VERY BRIEF author bio that includes your publishing history, if any, and/or just a little about
              who you are. Don't include that you've been in love with writing since you were in grade school.
              We all have. It's not really relevant. If you have no publishing history, just give some brief
               professional background and call it good.

That's all. Query letters should be short. They're a professional business communication, not an opus. Remember, agents get hundreds of them and they don't want to get bogged down reading huge long letters.


STEP FOUR:  Figure out where you're going to send your queries.
 

This includes a lot of research. You must be patient. Publishing is a long game.

Check places like QueryTracker, Preditors and Editors, Absolute Write Water Cooler, Writer's Digest Guide to Literary Agents, or if you have a subscription to Publisher's Marketplace, you can research there. These are some good places to start.

I recommend making a spreadsheet that includes columns for: date submitted, agent name, agency name, email address, submission guidelines, notes, date response received.

This will help you keep track of your queries so you don't query the same person twice, and so you can keep track of submission guidelines.

Once you have a list of agents you think might be a good fit, look at each and every one of their websites and make copious notes about their submission guidelines. They will all be different.

This is CRITICAL, folks. Seriously, one of the best ways to irritate an agent is to not follow their guidelines.

It could be useful to also look at the agents' Twitter feeds to get a feel for who they are and if you think you'd be a good fit.

***Query Tip:  Just because an agent offers you representation, doesn't mean you should accept it. Lots of authors panic and think they won't find another agent, so they sign with the first one who offers. If you're not a good fit with each other, for whatever reason, you don't have to sign with them. Keep looking!


STEP FIVE: Send 'em out.
            

You've done the research, you know who you want to target and what their guidelines are. Now it's time to submit to agents.

The best plan is not to send to every single agent at once. Do a test run of maybe a third of your list to see what kind of comments you get. Make any necessary adjustments then send to the next third, and so on.

It bears repeating here to FOLLOW SUBMISSION GUIDELINES TO THE LETTER.



STEP SIX: Wait.


This is the hardest step.

Be patient.

Don't nag the agent.

Give them space and time.

Agents can get a hundred or so queries a day. That's not easy to keep up with, so give them some time.

Sometimes they list on their website how long their turnaround time is. For the love of all that's holy, do not check in with them before that time frame is up.


STEP SEVEN:  As your responses come trickling in, make note of them on your spreadsheet. Indicate the date you received it and if the agent gave you a reason why they rejected. Often you'll get a form rejection. Don't take it personally. Agents don't have time to write a personal note to every single author who queries them. It's just the nature of the business.



STEP EIGHT: Have faith.


This is also hard because when you keep getting rejections, it feels like nobody loves you or your literary baby. You get a lot of "this isn't really a very good fit for my list" responses which sound like bullshit, but are really true.

When you go to the bookstore and read the back of a book and maybe the first page, it's not the author's fault if you don't really like it enough to buy it. It's just that it's not the story for you.

It's the same for agents when they read queries. Most of them just aren't the right fit.  

But eventually it will be the right fit. The book will be the right fit for the agent, and the agent will be the right fit for you, and a chorus of angels will sing and radiant beams of sunlight will rain down on you, rainbows will burst, unicorns will frolic, and all will be right with the world!

And then you have to start the process all over again when your agent submits your project to editors.

Congratulations and welcome to the wonderful world of publishing.

~Margaret

Process Makes Perfect?

The writing process of a an author may seem simple to the outside world. You get an idea in your head and you just write! It's this magical experience that takes you to another world, and the words just vomit out of you.

This is closer to the truth:

We often times have zero control over our muse and when it wants to show up. It may come from a song, a life experience, divine intervention, drugs....

 Each story is different, some characters scream louder than others to be written. Sometimes you have multiple plot bunnies hatching in your brain and you have to start a couple stories at once. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get your characters to talk to you, or amongst themselves.

Sometimes writing is a giant roller coaster ride. (For the record, I hate roller coasters.)

Often times life gets in the way and absolutely no words get written for days, months, sometimes years.

This is pretty much me with every book I write:

Everyone has felt this at sometime in their career (more often than not, about every manuscript)

I wish with all my might that this was a real place. It would make it so much easier!!

Every writer is different with their process. Some write really fast first drafts but spend weeks and months, even years in the editing phase. Some plot every detail out with outlines and storyboards, sometimes even visiting the cities where they're setting their story so every detail is perfect and takes years in the making. Some spew forth words perfect on the first try and immediately land a six figure multi-book deal. (This is probably as mythical as Mr. Snuffeluffagus.)

But the point of this post (if there really is one besides just tossing around really awesome memes) is to say, do what works for you to get your story from your brain to the page. No one way is right. No way is wrong. If it works for you and makes beautiful words, do it. Sometimes it takes a while to find which way works. And that's okay, too. In the end, just never give up. If one way doesn't work, try a new one. Or invent your own. Spew forth all the words, my friends!

Reasons For Rules: An Agent's Perspective

By Mary C. Moore

Having been an unpublished author seeking an agent, I know how daunting a task this can be. Each agent has different submission guidelines and there are so many RULES. It seems as if you break any of these sacred RULES your query will go right in the physical and metaphorical trash, never to be seen again and you as an author will be laughed out of any possible opportunity to be signed. And when those rejections start rolling in, you question yourself and your writing. What RULE did you break? Then you get angry and frustrated. Why are the RULES so dang important anyway? Isn't it about the writing? Shouldn't they see you for the amazing talent you are and brush all that other stuff away? You start reading about authors who have broken the rules and been hugely successful and you  lurk on online forums to commiserate with other writers that are feeling as bruised as you are. Pretty soon you are convinced that agents have too much power and that their RULES are just petty ways of making authors jump through silly hoops for their own amusement. 

Now, being on the other side of the fence, I find myself spouting off RULES to hopefuls at writer conferences, online forums, on Twitter, and everywhere in-between. I have unintentionally become a gatekeeper, because on this side, the RULES have REASONS. Oh. So for your sanity and mine, I am going to explain the REASONS behind the seemingly random RULES. I'm sticking to fiction literary agent RULES to keep it short. 

Rule #1: Follow each agent's individual submission guidelines down to the letter.

Reason: Every agent has a different system for shifting through submissions. Their guidelines are based on what will help them get through the slushpile in the most efficient manner. By not following the guidelines, you are causing a disruption in the system, which means it will take longer for the agent to consider your submission and respond to you, in effect wasting their time and yours.  

Rule #2: Word count, 55k-75k for YA, 80k-90k for most adult, up to 125k for historical or fantasy.

Reason: Word counts are a throwback from traditional printing. There was a standard specification for print book sizes, which meant if your book fell outside those specifications, it was less likely to be picked up. Because of this, readers got used to a standard book length. And although publishing mediums have since evolved, the standard has yet to change. Thus, your book is easier to sell if it falls within the word count parameters. 

Rule #3: Classify your work as only 1-2 genres, plus age group. 

Reason: We want to know what genre your book falls into, so we know which editors we would place it with. Do not say "it's a unique new genre," not only is this not true (trust me, after slogging through the slush, I can say with confidence, you are not the first to come up with whatever concept you have come up with) it shows us you do not read within your genre, and do not understand it. We are looking for experienced authors who grasp who their reader audience is. 

Rule #4: Address the query to the agent you are sending it to.

Reason: Not only is this courteous, but it shows you've at least done a bit of research before querying us, which means you think we would be a good fit for your manuscript.  

Rule #5: Only query agents who represent your genre. 

Reason: We as agents, develop relationships with editors and publishing houses. If we specialize in a genre, that means we are experienced both in reading/selling said genre, but we also know exactly which editors would be right for it. That being said, there is no harm in querying an agent you are not clear on, especially those who list "commercial fiction" as one of their genres. Just try to avoid querying an agent who only represents thrillers and mysteries with your inspirational memoir.

Rule #6: Have your manuscript finished, edited, and polished before querying.

Reason: Although a lot of agents will do edits before shopping your manuscript, their time is limited. They are not going to be willing to do extensive edits on a project, so if you send out a manuscript before it is finished, you are essentially setting yourself up for rejection. 

Rule #7: Do not mention how well the book will do, or what great writing it is, or how you plan to be the next JK Rowling. 

Reason: The reality of publishing is much harsher than the success stories of JK Rowling and EL James. Most authors don't start making a living off their writing until after their fifth or sixth successfully published book (this is true for self-published authors as well) and even then you're probably not going to be able to buy that island. On average it takes years/decades to become financially successful as an author. We are looking for clients that understand that and are willing to put in the time and energy toward that goal. 

Rule #8: Keep your bio to simply your experience as a writer as well as any relevant experience to your novel (i.e. if you're writing legal thrillers and are a lawyer, mention this). Leave out the names of your pets, your dreams of stardom, your inner demons, and any other personal/professional background.

Reason: Agents are professionals, and they are looking for professional clients. Your query letter should have the same information that a cover letter for a job resume would have. Relevant experience only. Of course once we've signed you, then the relationship may evolve to a more personal level, but there will always be a professional line. 

Rule #9: Keep the query short. 

Reason: The slushpile is no joke. There are hundreds of submissions that an agent or agent's assistant have to read on a monthly basis. If a query is too long, out of necessity, we will skip most of it. 

Rule #10: Only nudge an agent if you have an offer of representation or they have not responded past their posted response time.

Reason: Again, the inbox is flooded already. If you nudge, odds are we won't read the email until after we've seen your original query, (unless in the subject line are the words: OFFER OF REP), so you are just adding to the pile and possibly being annoying. However, things do slip through the cracks. Usually in the submission guidelines, an agent has posted their normal response time. If it is past this date, go ahead and nudge. If it's a full manuscript, nudging after six months is reasonable. 

I hope this post has helped you make sense of a seemingly random set of parameters and given you more confidence to keep going. It is good to remember that most agents are hopeful that authors will follow these RULES, but we are also human and understanding. We may reject you because you didn't follow one of our RULES, but that doesn't mean you are blacklisted and we never want to see your face (or pen) again. In all honesty, we are so inundated with queries, we probably won't remember your particular RULE-breaking query in the first place. So don't be nervous, just do the best you can. 

There are many more RULES that crop up in all aspects of publishing: formatting, grammar, design, editing, writing, contracts etc, even self-publishing, and I'm happy to give REASONS for these in the comments below. 

As for the RULE-breakers out there. You know what they say...

Turbo Mind Booster: Exercise Your Brain

Your brain, like many other parts of your body, requires a constant workout. Sometimes, when you're stuck or facing a wall, the best way to get out is to exercise your brain.

And so, I present to you, Turbo Mind Booster 3000! (Because honestly, doesn't that sound super difficult and exercise-y?)

Exercise One: Restaurant Dialogue

Stuck for dialogue in your MS? Next time you're in a restaurant take a notebook and write down the snippets of conversation that you hear. Nothing is better than hearing real life, candid conversations.

Exercise Two: Brutal Ending

Can't figure out how to start your new WIP? Start from the ending. Write that brutal death of the main character that's been percolating in your brain. Start with that fatal last line. Figure out the overall goal for your MC. Will you keep the ending? Probably not. Will it be utter trash? Maybe, but it will give you direction for when you start.

Exercise Three: Diary of a Journalist

Stuck on how to write your character? Try writing a blog or diary from their perspective. Go through their day to day.

Exercise Four: Group Therapy

Take a few people you know, five to ten and write one sentence about them. Strive for things that make them unique or noteworthy.

Exercise Five: Talk Radio

Record five minutes of a talk radio show. Write the dialogue and add narrative and action as if you were writing a scene.

Exercise Six: Room to Room

Write 300 words about a room in your house. Make sure to pick out things that describe you and your personality.

Exercise Seven: From 1st to 3rd

Take a scene from your WIP and rewrite it. If you're writing in first, try writing it in third and visa-versa.

Exercise Eight: Tabloid Break

Flip through the tabloids at the local grocery store. Choose a story that sticks out in your mind and write it. The story may end up crap, but it'll sort of reset your brain.

If all else fails, hop on a treadmill with your favorite jams and hope that you don't end up like the guy above.

Got any writing exercises and getting away from the writing wall? Leave it in the comments below.